Español / English 23:33 ; Saturday 04 July 2020

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TALE 3. Little Red Ridding Hood

Osoxile Productions Presents:

El Gran Teatro de Maese Travieso

Today: Little Red Ridding Hood

What time is it?

Just a little to 21st century.

Why do you say that, Gustavo?

What kind of idea is it, to play Little Red Ridding Hood at the door of the 21st century?

Don't be so pessimistic, Gustavo. People like this stuff about wolfs and Little Red Ridding Hoods.

Yes, it is the only play in the world in which since the beginning you know that the murderer is not the butler.

Listen, listen. Do you know what is on today?

The same as always. You go there, you pay some money...

No. I mean what play is on, today?

Yes. Today’s is about a character with a red cape.

That’s great! Finally someone dares to put on Superman.

No, no, no, no, no... folks, there's no Superman today. Today's play is Little Red Ridding Hood!

Come on, grandma, sit down, the show is about to start.

Little Red Riding Hood?

Yes, ma?

Little Red Riding Hood. Bring this basket to your grandmother. She's in bed. Wait. Some fresh milk. Ah! And some honey pies I just made.

I'm going right away, ma.

Be very careful on the way, and especially with strangers!

Of course, ma. Anything else?

Yes. Take this round to granny’s house and don’t waste any time fooling around. Try to get to granny’s house before the milk’s expiry date.

Yes, yes indeed...

Musicians! How lucky! I'll go with them to the square.

Hi, Little Red Ridding Hood.

Hi

Hi, Little Red Ridding Hood.

Hi.

Be careful, Little Red Ridding Hood!

Bye, Little Red Ridding Hood.

Bye, Little Red Ridding Hood.

Bye, Little Red Ridding Hood.

Bye, Little Red Ridding Hood.

Bye!

Fresh meat! And ready to eat! Wait a minute! I cannot eat Little Red Ridding Hood here, in the square. Humans are very weird. That's it! What a great idea! Wolf: you are a genius. Girl...

I'm sorry. I cannot talk to strangers. Mum’s orders.

You think I'm strange? I'm just a wolf. A particle accelerator is stranger than me, isn’t it?

Oh, in that case... Hi, Mr. Wolf.

Where are you going so early?

I'm going to grandma's to bring her this basket. She's in bed, you know?

So don't waste time and take the shortest way.

That's what I was going to do. Taking the river road.

Oh no! No way! The shortest way is through the forest.

Thanks a lot, Mr. wolf! Bye!

Bye, bye!

Bye!

Well, no, it wasn't Superman.

I'm not sure. You'll see how he, with his superpower, disintegrates at once this mutant Martian disguised as a wolf.

Sing, Little Red Ridding Hood! While you sing, I will get to grandma's sooner than you. This is the best part of my job.

Little Red Ridding Hood should already be here. She must be fooling around on the way. If she had a cell phone... We're at the doors of the 21st century and Little Red Ridding Hood doesn’t have a cell yet.

Oh! It’s so late! Now I must fly!

Who's there?

Granny, it's me, Little Red Ridding Hood.

I'm here, come in, the door is open.

Here I am, granny.

Come here, honey. I'm in bed and I can't see you very well.

So have a look at me: I’m very hot stuff.

Who are you?

I think it's clear enough, isn't it? I'm a wolf.

And what do you want?

My dear lady, I just came for a snack.

It is not customary to snack in this house

Lady, I'm here to start new customs.

A bit dry but, as I always say, the drier, the tastier. Well, well, well, and now, let's wait for the main course.

Good morning, Mr Hunter.

Good morning Mrs Little Red Ridding Hood's mum.

So? Hunting?

Hunting, yes but you seem a bit worried.

Well, yes. Is about Little Red Ridding Hood.

It’s hardly surprising that the girl has some troubles. Who in their right mind would name a girl Little Red Ridding Hood?

And you? Your name is Hunter.

I sent her to grandma's house, who is in bed, and she should be already back.

Don't worry. I'll go round to tell her to hurry up. And I will take the opportunity to tell Grandma to get well soon.

Thank you very much.

That's fine, lady, it's ok.

Come in, come in, Little Red Ridding Hood, the door is open.

Hi Granny.

Well, well. Isn't it my meal for today?

Yes, and I brought some flowers as well.

My meal. And garnished with vegetables!

Listen, Granny, I see you a bit strange.

Yes, I went to a new hairdresser's and...

Your eyes... granny, what big eyes you have!

Yes, that... All the better to see with, my child!

Granny, Granny, what big ears you have!

All the better to hear with, my child. This is the most boring part of my job.

Ho, look. Wolf tracks! Caramba! And they are going to Grandmother’s house. I don't like that at all! Let’s go, fast!

Granny, Granny. What a big nose you have!

All the better to smell with, my child!

And... Granny, Granny. What big teeth you have!

Darling... I thought you would never say it. All the better to eat you up with!

It tasted very good, this Little Red Ridding Hood. Nevertheless, I feel something strange in my stomach. I think I'll have a nap.

Everything seems very quiet.

Grandma is sleeping. Maybe she knows where Little Red Ridding Hood is. Well, before getting in, let's take all the necessary precautions. You never know.

Oh, God! But it is not Grandma! It’s the Wolf who is sleeping!

Help, help!

Those voices... are Little Red Ridding Hood’s and her Grandmother’s. Little Red Ridding Hood, where are you? Little Red Ridding Hood!

Here, in wolf's stomach!

Goods heavens! He ate them whole! Now you'll see!

How frightening! Thanks, sir.

I always dreamt of having a fur coat, but that was too much.

Come on, Granny, let's get out of here.

Calm down, it’s over, let's go home.

How frightening, huh?

Well... All is well what ends well. It was so scaring, ma.

You’re so cute!

So, well, it all ends well, my ladies.

Ma, let's call the musicians to play together a happy end!

That's it! I haven’t played the accordion since I was young.

Such a realistic play, huh?

I hope artificial blood stains wash well

So disgusting!

Terrific!

Amazing!

Did you like it, mon amour?

Oh! How late is it! May I?